306 Hollywood

♪♪ ♪♪ [ Wind howling ] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ -This is the house at 306 Hollywood Avenue.

It's a lot like other people's houses, maybe like yours.

-Our grandma bought the house in 1944.

She lived here for 67 years, and then she died.

♪♪ ♪♪ Our story begins a few years before we were born.

In 1970, our mother, Marilyn, moved from the house in New Jersey to New York.

Here she is driving back to visit Grandma.

♪♪ ♪♪ -This is our grandma, Annette Ontell.

♪♪ And that's our mom.

Here she is as a kid.

-That's our Uncle David.

And there's Grandpa Herman.

As kids, our mom would bring us with her to Jersey.

-That's me, Elan.

-That's me, Jonathan.

♪♪ Some people go to church every Sunday.

We went to Grandma's house every Sunday for 30 years.

♪♪ -Wait, let me get my glasses off.

My God.

I'm so surprised.

Oh, my goodness.

I got a bouquet.

Well, they are.

They're exquisite.

American Beauty red roses.

-I know, but they -- -I love them!

But they don't last long.

And how much do they cost?

It's a killer!

It's not lasting value.

Oh.

-Ma, let me tell you how much it cost.

-Grandma was like a second mother to us, but we really only saw her here.

As far as we knew, the house was her world.

♪♪ [ Engine starts ] ♪♪ -We kind of knew it was nothing special, but for two city kids, it felt like a universe.

[ Both laughing ] ♪♪ -In the afternoon, I'd wait for the train to come.

♪♪ At night, I'd dream it was passing through the house.

♪♪ ♪♪ [ Typewriter clicking, dings ] -I remember the sound of Grandpa Herman's typewriter.

He would spend hours writing strongly-worded letters.

♪♪ ♪♪ Sometimes our Uncle David would come by to watch planes... ...the ones he was too scared to ride in.

♪♪ -On sunny days, Grandma would do the laundry and transform into a silhouette.

♪♪ I remember when she bought us a dinosaur puzzle.

Each time we put it together, I imagined the room became a forest.

♪♪ ♪♪ [ Bird caws ] ♪♪ Over the years, the house got quieter.

First, Uncle David died... then Grandpa Herman.

Grandma was now alone in the house.

-Eh!

Oh, my God.

I'm just taking a look at your socks, poor kids.

You've cleaned up my floor with your socks, and now you're going home with dirty socks.

Well, you'll put them in the washing machine.

So that's a story.

-In 2001, we started to film her.

We interviewed her every year for the next 10 years.

-I used to love to eat big chunks of butter, which is vitamin A.

They never had shoes in Russia.

I says, "Dosh ish my nomen."

My nomen is Anchikal.

We'd ask for 5 cents worth of ice, 10 cents worth of ice, 15 cents.

They'd go to the bathroom outside, and the pig would come along and lick their behinds.

[ Laughs ] That's what she told me.

[ Camera shutter clicks ] -Do you ever wish you were young?

-No.

[ Camera shutter clicks ] -Grandma, are you vain?

-Oh, yes, I am.

[ Camera shutter clicks ] -Do you miss sex?

-Oh, no, not at my age.

[ Camera shutter clicks ] -During one interview, she showed us six cameras she had in the house.

We filmed her with the seventh.

-In terms of the people that you spent most of your life with -- -They're all gone.

[ Camera shutter clicks ] -Who's all gone?

-I think of Gertrude Eidelman.

I think of Frances Friedman.

Morris Lethowitz.

Maurice Titlebaum.

Bertha Drapekin.

Mrs. Necelski.

Dr. Polevski.

Rosie Gordenski.

Eddie Moss.

And then, of course, my uncle Gus Schlusser.

They're all gone.

We had a club of 13 girls, Jewish girls, down at the Y.

They're all gone.

There's no one left -- no one but myself.

So I don't know whether it's called being fortunate, but I'm a survivor.

-How do you feel about not having them around?

-Well, somebody has to be the last one on the totem pole, and, apparently, I am.

Of course, I feel bad about it, but just keep going.

I'm not living in Never-Never Land.

I'm living in this land, this lifetime.

[ Bird calls ] -After 16 years alone, Grandma became sick with pneumonia.

For six months, she lived in the hospital.

We all visited every day.

-Lonnie and I were there.

And I said to my mother, "Ma, I'll be back tomorrow.

We'll all be back tomorrow."

And she was in intensive care.

And she said, "What time will you be here tomorrow?"

I said, "By 1:30 in the afternoon, we will be here."

So I went and I immediately got home, and I got a phone call, and it was the nurse in the intensive care saying that my mother was really sick.

And I called you and Jonathan on my cellphone.

I said, "Get in the car.

I'm coming.

I'm in a cab.

We have to go.

Grandma is dying.

Grandma is dying."

♪♪ [ Swallows ] I was...

I was ready to kill myself because I wasn't there for her when she died.

That was terrible.

I wasn't there for her.

And I wanted to rip myself apart.

I wanted to kill myself.

When we got there, she was dead, but they let her stay there, and we were all with her, and I kissed her.

I said, "Ma, please forgive me.

Please forgive me.

I love you.

Please forgive me."

But she died.

[ Breathes shakily ] She died, and I wasn't there.

♪♪ ♪♪ [ Vehicle passing ] [ Clock ticking ] Oh, lookit.

Mary Malera died.

Look what she had.

Mother carried these.

[ Ticking continues ] -It's one week after the funeral.

Our mom wants to get rid of everything as quickly as possible.

I think it's her way of dealing with things.

-Look at this.

Comparables.

My mother's house is worth nothing.

[ Laughs ] I can't believe it.

[ Papers rustling ] Let me put this in here.

Paul Levy, Paul Levy.

See, here's one she didn't send.

"As I am now 70 years of age, I feel grateful."

[ Voice breaking ] That's enough, Jonathan.

♪♪ [ Paper shredder whirring ] ♪♪ -Mommy asked me to shred decades' worth of paper.

♪♪ She can't bear to do it herself.

[ Whirring continues ] ♪♪ Herman was an accountant.

He never threw anything away.

There go 1987's taxes.

There go the Medicare benefits.

♪♪ Grandma was a fashion designer.

She collected fashion magazines her whole life.

There go the styles of 1984.

She kept all of her canceled checks.

There go her phone calls... [ Paper shredder whirs ] ...her medication... [ Paper shredder whirs ] ...the electricity.

[ Paper shredder whirring ] She used the same phone book her whole life.

As people died, she would cross them out.

♪♪ [ Whirring continues ] ♪♪ -Our mother finds a buyer.

In one week, they sign the contract, but strange things have begun to happen.

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Clinking ] ♪♪ -Next to Grandma's bed, a woman appears.

♪♪ -One moment they're there and they're tangible, and then the next moment, they've passed.

And then you have to see them buried or cremated.

That's incredibly painful.

♪♪ When a loved one passes away, it's believed that the soul's realizing what's happening.

First it hovers near its body.

It was with those arms that it held onto its children.

It was with those eyes that it saw the beauty of the world.

And they're in turmoil.

After the loved one is buried, their soul continues to the place on Earth that was most familiar and comforting, and that's its home.

♪♪ We believe that the soul remains near the home for a period of 11 months.

Right now, you have those 11 months to make your grandmother tangible again, because your grandmother is still here.

-Seriously?

11 months?

Look, I don't believe in spirits, but somehow what she says makes sense.

[ Telephone ringing ] [ Clock ticking ] -One day before we sign the contract, the next strange thing happens.

[ Ringing, ticking continue ] A portal appears in the kitchen.

♪♪ [ Water dripping ] [ Water running ] Through the portal, the house looks the same, only everything's upside down.

-I have these very small pieces.

Even the cream cheese on a bagel gives me severe heartburn.

♪♪ -It feels like she's calling me.

-Remember, remember.

Try to go back.

All right, kiddo, let's go.

[ Floor creaking ] [ Static ] ♪♪ [ Bells tolling ] [ Indistinct conversations ] [ Pigeons cooing ] [ Wings flapping ] ♪♪ [ Indistinct talking ] -I find myself in the past.

It's 1998, and I'm 20 years old living in Rome.

This is the classroom where I study art history.

This is the view out the window.

And these are the starlings that fill the night sky.

[ Starlings calling ] I can't hear Grandma, but I hear my professor.

♪♪ I used to ride these trains past modern buildings, ancient ruins, and Mr. Stella watching the world go by.

♪♪ ♪♪ [ Door creaks ] [ Door closes ] When I'm in Rome, the past feels alive.

[ Starlings calling ] Maybe that's why Grandma brought me back.

♪♪ [ Wind howling ] [ Howling intensifies ] [ Creaking ] [ Howling lessens ] ♪♪ Grandma's house is transformed.

♪♪ Her bedroom isn't for sleeping.

Her kitchen isn't for eating.

[ Clicking ] And her objects are no longer for use.

They're for telling stories.

[ Tracks rattling ] [ Clicking ] ♪♪ Grandma's house isn't a home anymore.

It's a ruin.

[ Static ] ♪♪ -You know, when you're out on an archeological dig and you find all this evidence of the presence of man, you start to imagine how these people would have lived, and you do that on the base of what you find, and that can be the remains of their houses, the walls that you find... [ Typewriter clicking, dings ] ...the thatched roofs of their huts... ...or the remains of their pottery, whether it is fancy or less fancy.

♪♪ You even start thinking about where they got th eir stuff from.

How did it get here?

What was the trade route?

These are things that I think, you know, they kind of stimulate.

They tickle, almost, yo ur imagination.

Obviously, one should not let one's self be carried away by it too much, because in your reconstruction, after all, you have to base it upon firm, scholarly, scientific grounds.

[ Static ] -We talk it over and decide there's only one thing for us to do.

-We're turning Grandma's house into an archaeological dig.

-[ Laughing ] [ Laughing ] That's ridiculous.

It's [bleep] ridiculous.

Who the [bleep] is going to have an archeological dig at 306 Hollywood Avenue?

Who in their right mind?

You're both [bleep] crazy and really [bleep] lunatics.

You're so ridiculous.

An archeological dig!

-She's right, of course.

But when we ask her for time to excavate, she agrees.

She wants to know what's left of Grandma, too.

We're keeping the house.

-But we only have 11 months.

♪♪ -There's so much [bleep] in this house.

-Well, we still have the...

In our first excavation, we find a photo of our Uncle David.

-With his wife, Elaine.

-A tableau of carefully arranged objects.

This -- What is that?

-The summer light in the backyard.

♪♪ Notes Grandma wrote to everyone.

♪♪ Four clothespins that look like fallen-over dolls.

-Three vacuum cleaners, two more than needed.

One filing cabinet full of dead people's taxes.

-The creases from Grandma's perfect folds.

-Two more vacuums.

Lots and lots of books, some with out-of-date titles.

-Seven BAND-AID boxes.

♪♪ But, of course, only one with BAND-AIDs.

10 years worth of interviews with our grandmother.

-We bring the tapes back with us to New York... and we turn her on.

[ VCR whirring ] ♪♪ ♪♪ -Can you count to 10 for me one more time?

-1 [coughs] 2 [coughs] 3, 4... -Yeah, definitely.

Grandma, hold on.

Grab one of those.

-...5... -Give me that.

I'll take that from you.

-...6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

♪♪ -She looks so lost, but here she is on hours and hours of tape.

-How many days will you have to go through all this?

-It's going to take a while.

You've got a lot to say.

-Personal hygiene is what we call it today.

You have to keep your bod-- bod-- bodily orifices clean -- your mouth, your teeth, your vaginal area, your rectal area.

You've got to be clean.

-I got the idea to interview her when I got my first camera in film school.

It was a way to ask her questions I wouldn't normally ask.

They started when she was 83 and ended when she was 93.

♪♪ I counted.

We asked her a total of 87 questions.

For our next excavation, we make an archive of Grandma as video.

♪♪ She lived a grand and simple life.

-Grandma, where did you grow up?

-Newark, in a ghetto with all the bakeries and pushcarts and dry goods stores, kosher butchers with dead chickens lying in the window.

-I love that she was a fashion designer.

I used to dress up in her clothes.

-In one sentence, could you tell Lonnie what you did for your career?

-Well, in the first place, I mastered pattern making.

-But, Grandma, if you could -- -Just one sentence to sum it all up.

What was it that you did as your professional work?

-I wanted to make girls feel -- -But, Grandma, just... We talk over each other sometimes.

Probably got that from my mother.

She and Grandma were inseparable.

-Did you see this?

Look at this, Lonnie.

-It's wore out at the breast.

-Wear out everything in her [bleep] -She's my joy.

She keeps me living.

[ Answering machine beeps ] Marilyn, you treat me like a goddess.

Thank you.

Okay, darling.

-My mom married our father, who's Venezuelan.

They got divorced.

Do you wish mommy had married a Jewish man?

-No, I don't care.

At times I did.

-Everything was about being Jewish.

-Grandma, what was that you were reading before?

Didn't you say -- You were reading something about someone who was just Jewish?

Who was it, Elvis?

-Here, read this.

"Elvis, who was born of a Jewish mother, was, in fact, Jewish."

[ Chuckles ] Boy, am I chauvinistic.

-Grandma met Herman when they were 15.

She took care of the house.

He took care of the finances.

-My mother used to say we are an "iron and steal" business.

-I would iron, and he would steal.

-They fought all the time, but they stayed together forever.

-If you love a guy, if a guy is good to you, and if he's smart and he's decent and he's got good values and he's sincere and he's not a womanizer, you got it made.

And where was Herman going to womanize the way he was?

You know, sick guy.

Sexually, he was fine.

If he was under control, everything, he was fine, but the blindness.

-Finally, there was their son, David.

He had a schizophrenic episode when the was 16, and all he ever wanted was a normal life.

He died at 48.

Does it seem strange to have already gone so long with him having passed away?

-All the time.

Of course, it's very strange.

14 years have passed by already, and it seems like yesterday.

But you never forget.

Sometimes I think he's still around.

I still hear his footsteps coming to check how I was.

And, of course, the memory never lessens.

I'm always thinking that here he's coming.

You don't lose... -Hearing her speak again feels surreal.

I almost forget she's just data on a tape.

[ Garbling ] And just like that, the tape breaks.

♪♪ ♪♪ Finding the tapes was like finding more time with her.

They're everything she'll ever say.

♪♪ Now an hour of that time is gone.

♪♪ -I think that the physical evidence also helps to preserve the memory of the past, whether it is of an event, wh ether it is of a person.

If it is not there, it's harder -- harder to feel that event, harder to feel that person.

It's a bit of a substitute.

It's a bit of a surrogate, of course, but it definitely helps.

♪♪ -So what else is left?

♪♪ -How can you take all this garbage?

That'll take all this garbage here on this counter?

This'll be a shanda to show all this garbage, that I have clutter, clutter, clutter.

That's one thing I've never gotten rid of -- clutter.

I'm a -- what they call it?

A rat trap or trap?

What do they call that type of a person that has a ton of crap?

Trap?

-Pack rat.

-Pack rat!

I'm a pack rat!

♪♪ -For our next excavation, we set off with a simple goal -- bring some order to the chaos.

Archaeologists have a name for this.

They call them catalogues.

The idea is that the groupings, the patterns reveal some underlying connection, some underlying order.

So we make our own catalogues.

But we start with a specific kind, and we call them portraits.

Here's one of Grandma -- a portrait made of stockings.

This one's of Grandpa Herman made of hats, shoes, and ties.

Then we make a portrait of Uncle David, and we just use everything left of him that we can find.

Some catalogues come easy, but others, I'm not really sure what they say.

Like this.

Why did she keep so many toothbrushes?

I don't know.

Anyway, her rainbow gives us an idea.

We begin to catalogue by color.

Pink evokes mid-century domesticity.

Beige is sort of plastic and basic utility.

All of these objects are a recording of thousands of decisions.

Like this.

Our mother bought that painting.

And this is Grandma's dress form she used to make clothes.

Each thing, no matter how small, is a trace of a person from the past, and all we have are traces.

We are time travelers, and we find imprints of time pressed into everything we find.

♪♪ Before we know it, we find 100 years -- 100 years spanning 20th-Century typography.

2007 -- Grandma's appointment book telling us what she thought on November 16th.

Frightening.

1940 -- the state of the world in postage stamps.

When the stamp was printed, Hitler was in power.

And while the world was at war, our grandparents bought their house at 306 Hollywood.

1994 -- Grandpa Herman died.

And in 1995, Grandma finished paying off his tombstone.

Balance on Herman B. Ontell.

That's an odd way to phrase it.

Radios.

So many radios.

[ Man singing on radio ] Herman would buy a new one every year.

He wanted to be a musician.

But he was a poor kid, and music didn't pay.

So he became an accountant.

♪♪ His job was torture.

He hated it.

So he always looked for something else to do.

He played instruments.

He bought gadgets.

[ Whirring ] And he wrote letters seeking justice in the world, doing what he could in his own unique way.

♪♪ This last letter was written in 1963.

That same year, JFK was assassinated, and his story came to an end, as all stories do.

♪♪ You know what I realized, actually?

-What?

-If you look through the drawers, Grandma kept the things that made her most happy and most angry.

-What do you mean, most angry?

-There's, like, all these things about Elaine and Irene, David's wives.

-I know.

I always forget that David was married twice.

-But it's, like -- These kind of, like, nasty letters were there, along with, like, things from us and from Mommy and from their friends.

-But come on, isn't that what everyone keeps?

-I don't know.

Does everyone keep the nasty stuff?

-I don't know.

I guess if it's really nasty.

-Mm.

[ Birds chirping ] -Grandma was never on the cover of Life magazine like JFK, and her life with Herman wasn't exactly Camelot.

She doesn't have a presidential library or a team of archivists.

She just has us.

-And let's get real.

We don't really know what we're doing.

-Of course we don't.

It's completely overwhelming.

-So much stuff.

-This house has so much stuff.

-I feel sometimes like every single object has some sort of meaning.

-Yeah, but it might all just be junk.

-But if we throw it out, that's it.

It's gone forever.

-But how do we know what we should keep or what we should throw away?

-I don't know.

-So we pay a visit to another family's house to see how the pros do it.

♪♪ -This house was built in 1963 before John D. Rockefeller's Jr.'s second wife, Martha.

It's called Hillcrest.

It serves as the headquarters for the Rockefeller archives.

We have about 40 people on staff.

-Hey, it's only 38 more than us.

-It was actually built to withstand a nuclear war.

The room that we're sitting in right now is what's known as Junior's office, meaning John D. Rockefeller Jr., who was his father's successor.

This was Junior's chair that he used at this desk for almost the entirety of his career.

It looks kind of uncomfortable, but it's not too bad.

It clearly was designed for somebody taller, and so, it actually fits me pretty well, at least physically, not aesthetically.

-What about this room?

-The powder room?

-Yeah, the powder room.

-The powder room is actually an installation of furnishings from Abby Aldrich Rockefeller's townhouse in New York City.

It shows how much, particularly her son, David, really adored her, that he wanted there to be a piece of her left in this space for him to able to visit.

-Is that for real?

-Yeah, they preserved their mother's powder room for eternity.

-Hmm.

-In some ways, a building like this is, you know, we're the winners.

We get to tell the story that we want to tell.

[ Footsteps approaching ] -"What We Found"... Rockefeller Edition.

-A marble bust of John D. Rockefeller.

The desk where he became the richest man in history.

♪♪ -A commemorative shovel from the United Nations building in New York.

They gave the land.

-A bell from the fastest ship of her day.

♪♪ -A 110-year-old wedding cake.

♪♪ -And in the basement... ...the premier archive of American philanthropy.

-What I think people need to understand is that only the history that is saved exists into perpetuity.

In some ways, archivists are making a judgment as to what is important and what gets saved, because in that act of saving and then making it accessible to other people, you're identifying the story that you believe needs to be saved and told and understood from into the future.

-If we didn't have the physical remains of the past, what would be lost?

-I think if you didn't have the physical remains of the past, the question would be whether it existed.

-So, if these artifacts tell the story of history's winners, how do we tell the story of someone like Grandma?

-I have quite a variety of things related to my own personal family history.

This is my grandmother, Opal Henderson Clark.

After she passed away and as we were going through her items, we discovered this really strange little ledger book.

She decided to keep track of what kind and how many dozens of cookies she made during the year 1978.

So we have chocolate drop cookies, which are really good.

We have my favorite, frosted orange cookies.

Total cookie count for 1978 -- 280 and a third dozen cookies.

-Is documenting your family's history as important as documenting the history of the Rockefellers?

-My answer to that would be sure, yes, of course.

Certainly, the Rockefellers and their family have had an impact far beyond what my grandparents might have had, but in the world in which they lived, my grandparents were hugely important.

To make a qualitative judgment that they somehow didn't have value and so we're not going to save a record of their existence tells a kind of story that we don't want to tell about this nation, which is that it's only great and wealthy people who have value.

It's not the farmers.

It's not the people who bake cookies for their grandchildren.

-They're really good.

[ Timer dinging ] [ Wind howling ] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ The more I think about the house, the more I think about scale.

I think about the scale of big histories, like the Rockefellers and Rome, and the scale of a small history, like Grandma's.

I think about the scale of resources you need to keep a house forever... ...and the fact that we only have six months left.

And then I think about catalogues... ...and that the house is our grandest catalogue of all.

♪♪ ♪♪ This house holds everything that remains of our family, and when it's gone, what then?

♪♪ [ Wind howling ] [ Snow falling ] -In every archaeological dig, some artifacts are more valuable than others.

Here in her basement on Hollywood Avenue, Grandma spent her life making beautiful dresses for rich ladies in Manhattan.

[ Sewing machine whirring ] And from the leftover fabric, she'd make the exact same dresses for herself.

[ Whirring continues ] ♪♪ It was an amazing transformation.

My little grandma dressed up like the Rockefellers.

-I made all these dresses and hundreds more for myself and other people, and they all enjoyed them.

I know I did.

-Let's just check one thing out.

-I'd always wanted to see Grandma in her dresses.

So one night three years ago, I asked my mom to help her try them on.

-Help you step into this.

It may not go up at all, but you could probably step into it, and I would help you.

Either put it over your head -- And whatever it is, it is.

It doesn't matter.

But take it easy.

-[ Sighs ] -Take it.

Don't get nervous.

We're just going to see.

What do you think?

We're not going to zip anything up.

We never thought we would zip it up, Ma.

We just want to see what it looks like, because that was the one dress I always hoped that I could wear.

Of course, it never happened.

-Pathetic.

It's made nice.

-Yeah, it looks good, right, Ma?

What was that, Pellon?

-Pellon.

-Yeah, I think that was Pellon.

Very lovely.

-But stiff.

And then I have taffeta.

-Mm-hmm.

Underneath?

-You see?

-Yeah, it's very lovely.

So, you could just -- We could just take your top off, and you could just take your pants off for a second.

No, first we'll take your top off, because you're getting your hair done tomorrow anyway.

I'll help you.

Don't worry.

It's not a big deal.

We just want -- You know what it is, Ma?

It just is like, when do you think we made -- You made this maybe in 19... -'40.

-No, no, no.

It was in the '50s, Ma.

-'50?

-Yeah, because I wanted to wear it, and I couldn't wear it.

So all we want to do is, perhaps -- -I could never get this on.

-No, but it could get over your shoulders if you sit down.

If we do it like this.

No, right?

It's so little, Ma.

Well, let's see.

How could -- Let's take this marvelous thing that you hate so much.

-Yeah, but don't push anything.

-Oh, I won't push it.

That's your life alert.

-Lifeline.

-Yeah.

All right.

Now, let's think how we would do it.

You don't think maybe you could step in that?

If we could take your pants off.

No?

-What do you want to do?

Well, we'll try it.

You figure it out.

-Well, here, Ma.

Just -- Let's just see.

Because the only time I'm ever going to use this thing is if maybe my grandchildren would wear it.

-Oh, look at this with these shoes.

Should I take my pants off?

-Well, no, if you're going to take your pants off, you have to take them off first.

Let's try to take them off first, and then -- -Oh, this is crazy.

-[ Laughing ] It's not crazy, Ma.

-It is.

-It is not that crazy.

What do you mean, crazy?

First you have to get up, Ma.

-Wait, wait, I can get up.

-Okay.

Nice chair.

Herman used to wreck that chair, right, Ma?

-Yeah.

-Okay, so let's take this off.

Lovely underwear.

Take this schmatta off, and we'll try.

We'll just try to get one dress on, just one.

If we could do that, Ma, it's the whole thing.

And I'll find one that we could do, but that's my favorite in the world.

Now, let us try to put your feet in here, one first.

-Wait, wait.

-I got one in there.

Now we're going to put the other one in.

See, we'll pick that foot up.

-Are you crazy?

-I know I'm crazy, but, you know, I didn't come up with this idea, Ma.

Your granddaughter -- Now, get up, and let's see.

-It'll never get over me.

-Hold everything.

Hold everything, Ma.

Remember, you used to schlep the [bleep] out of me?

Oy vey!

-No, it can't get on.

It's got to get on the other way.

-Oh, okay.

We'll get it on the other way.

Let's try it the other way.

-Because the Pellon, nothing has stretched.

-No, remember -- -This, I can never get it over.

This is a difficult thing.

-Well, hold everything.

Let's see if it'll get over your head.

If that could get over your head -- Hey, nice zipper you put in there, Ma.

It's a killer, huh, Ma?

Boy, you were skinny.

Huh, Ma?

[ Laughs ] -No.

No, this is no good.

-Well, let's try another one.

-This looks impossible.

It's a straitjacket.

-[ Laughing ] -Oh, my God.

-[ Laughing ] -I can't believe it, Ma!

How about this one?

-That's worse.

-Yeah, but you never know.

It's got a zipper down the back.

[ Laughs ] Oh, look, Ma, it's got a big zipper.

Oh, Ma, this looks better.

This one's beautiful.

What's that one?

-This is -- -This is silk brocade.

-Yeah.

And, you see, I had to line everything.

-I know you lined it, but this one was my -- this was my second favorite I dreamed of.

Remember we had that dresses -- We had twin dresses.

Oh, you looked great in that.

Here, let me help you up.

-Wait a minute.

-[ Laughing ] This is -- This is hysterical!

-This will never get over me.

-Well... [ Laughs ] Here, just put your arms in it, that's all.

This is no joke, Ma.

You must have been skinny.

-I was.

-Oh, Ma!

-I weighed 95 pounds.

Now I weigh -- -You look stunning in that with those sneakers!

-Oh, no.

-This is what we have to make a picture of.

This is it, Ma.

That's it.

Sit down for a second.

-And I won't be able to get up.

-[ Laughs ] -Oh.

-Ma, don't get nervous.

Don't get nervous.

You can't.

What do you want me to do?

Here, just take it off here and just sit on it.

-She's doing good.

-Excellent.

Just sit there for a second, because what she wants to do is just make -- do a still.

Isn't that the truth?

-You get out of the way.

With my sneakers on?

This is ridiculous.

-This looks good, Ma.

♪♪ -I'm twice the size of what I was.

-You look fabulous.

-But what'd you say when you said you feel like a what?

-A clump.

A clump of nothing.

-Oh.

-Big clump of...flesh.

-Why?

-Well, I don't move very easily, and I don't walk well, and it's difficult.

I used to run to the buses and to the trains and get to school and -- but the years have gone by, and it's taken its toll.

Even a tree, an oak tree, when it grows tall and big, and even the wind can knock it down.

So that's what happens.

Whatever it is, whatever was given to me...

...I think I've done well.

So I'm happy for it.

I tried.

So where does it put me?

Puts me into this seat.

But I'm alive.

♪♪ -So, this was Grandma and Grandpa's room.

And this is her countertop that's been pretty much the same for the last... -Your whole life.

-Exactly.

-Oh, we can't show her unmentionables.

-But they're kind of great.

-They are really great.

I know, I know.

It's really good.

Oh, it's so beautiful.

They don't make lingerie like that anymore.

Truly, they just don't.

-No.

-Yep, there's the girdle.

-There's the girdle.

-Yeah.

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ Front, proper right side at waist, adjacent to side seam.

Approximately one inch down from waist.

Large brown liquid stain.

Front, proper right and left, underarm area, perspiration soiling.

Interior back, scattered small stains.

♪♪ Clothing is the fastest path back in time to understanding people from before.

When I'm touching it in particular, I really feel transported to another space and another moment.

Lace degraded, splitting, tearing, especially at top.

-So, do you feel like you get to know the wearer?

-Totally, yeah, and it's very intimate.

There's all these little, tiny things that become apparent to me about the original owner.

That whiff of perfume, that slash of red lipstick on the collar.

-Did you think you were pretty throughout your life?

-No.

Ordinary-looking person.

-Sometimes I'm looking at something, and the spirit or the ghost of the person really sort of, like, hovers around it, and especially when it's sort of like a sassy object, when it's something that I know for that time period, I was like, "Ooh, who were you?"

Like, "Where were you wearing this, and why were you wearing this?"

-Fashion transcends you into an imaginary world.

I never looked the same as anyone else.

Nightclub black velvet, seductive, "V" neckline, a skimpy sheath.

-I can envision the dress a lot.

♪♪ ♪♪ -Confidence, dignity, and self-assurance.

[ Telephone rings ] ♪♪ [ Vacuum whirring ] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ Fashion was my cup of tea.

I loved it.

It takes us into an imaginary world.

♪♪ -Grandma made each dress to fit her.

They're her exact outline.

♪♪ [ Wind howling ] ♪♪ -You can dress and look beautiful and pretend to be a princess or a queen.

♪♪ [ Indistinct talking ] [ Seagulls crying ] -Sometimes Grandma feels really present.

At the beach, I see her old legs, and it seems like she's everywhere.

Other times, I can't feel her at all.

I can't stop wondering if we're searching for Grandma in the right places.

Did we excavate right?

Are we missing something?

Where is she?

-Where does your grandmother ex ist now that she's dead, that you have all this footage of her, and, of course, you have your own memories?

♪♪ Well, I am a materialist, so I think that everything is atoms and molecules and nothing more.

And there's a special configuration of atoms and molecules that makes a brain, and from that brain comes consciousness in a way that we don't yet understand.

And at a certain point in time, the brain dies.

The atoms and molecules that were part of it disassemble.

They're not destroyed.

There are atoms floating around space right now that were your grandmother.

But they're not in the arrangement that was your grandmother.

♪♪ -Are you scared of dying?

-Pardon?

-Are you scared of dying?

Are you scared of dying?

-How do I what?

-Are you scared of dying?

-Oh, no.

Oh, no, never.

I'm not scared of dying at all.

At 86 years of age, I think I'm very fortunate I've lived so long.

No.

Sometimes I think it would be a relief because it's getting difficult taking care of the medication and being alone.

at times, I do fear.

-Me, too, Grandma.

♪♪ -A person, and especially a person that you care about, has a presence or a meaning to you that goes far beyond their material body.

The fact that I'll never talk to my father again, that I'll never see him again, that seems impossible to me.

The atoms and molecules that were in his body are all in disarray.

They're scattered all over the planet.

Even though I could go collect each one of those atoms and molecules -- I mean in principle, not actually, but in principle... ♪♪ ...where is he?

It's the mystery of consciousness.

To me, it's the great mystery of existence.

-This entire couch is covered in mold.

This is disgusting.

The house is falling apart.

We're running out of time.

Whatever.

♪♪ Buckets of water filled with mold.

♪♪ -Old tax books covered with mold.

♪♪ -Herman's most recent fake teeth.

I know we already found this, but it's still kind of gross.

There's a reason people don't keep houses they don't live in.

♪♪ -Bread from last year.

-Gefilte fish from last decade.

-Toilet paper from last century.

-An antique fire extinguisher.

Spray it, and it will kill you.

-Furniture that reminds me of Grandma.

♪♪ -A giant telescope.

-Hmm.

I never noticed that before.

♪♪ -And then we find it -- an audiotape mysteriously labeled "The Fighting Ontells."

-That's our family's last name.

[ Tape rewinding ] -Is it off?

Oh, my God, look!

Press stop.

Why do you want to get married?

-Because it's important.

-To who?

-That's our family.

-It's no good to be single.

-So what are you going to do?

-I don't know, but I can't -- I mean, it's no good.

-Who you going to get married to?

-The wall.

-To who?

The wall.

-You asked me a pointed question.

Is it my money?

Yes!

-It's my money, too!

-When you going to pay me back what you owe me?

-I got almost enough to pay you back.

[ Tape stops ] -Wait a minute.

♪♪ For 10 months, we've been sifting through all these artifacts, trying to bring the past back to life.

Then suddenly, we turn on a tape, and it's like we're back in time.

It makes me think we can even see our family.

Wait a minute.

Let's go back.

[ Rewinding ] No, no, not that far back.

Just a little.

[ Rewinding ] Right there.

That's what we need.

-What are you talking about?

-With the tape, we can hear the past, but with the telescope maybe we can see it, too.

-Didn't know you needed milk, apparently, because you didn't realize that they had tapped into it.

They had four glasses of milk each.

-You're full of [bleep] -That's what you said.

You said she had four bottle -- glasses of -- -I did not say that.

Liar that you are.

[Bleep] liar!

-I got news for you, you -- you -- you -- Judas, you.

You -- You will sell your mother down the river, too.

-I'd never sell my mother down the river.

-But your father, you would.

-My father, I wouldn't even talk to anymore because he's bugging the [bleep] out of me.

-But you would sell him down the river.

-I wouldn't sell anybody down the river.

Can you imagine what a paranoid person this is?

-Yeah, I'm paranoid.

-Did you ever in your life, a paranoid nitwit?

-Whoa.

-Can we see anything else?

♪♪ -Tap them down at the same time.

When you record something, when you want to stop it, you just stop, stop.

When you want to rewind, you rewind it.

You rewind to the point where you think you started speaking, and then you play back.

Play back, just stick play.

But the only other thing is when you want to record, you have a little arrow here.

Record goes hand in hand with play.

-They're so young.

-They sound like people from an old movie.

That was Mommy making the tape.

♪♪ -Well, keep going out with her.

-I can't.

Sooner or later, it's going to... -Might as well get used to her.

-Wow, it's our Uncle David.

-I can't go out with her.

How long can you go out with a girl?

-You can go out with her for 100 years.

-Chevalier went with a woman for 40 years.

-I don't make enough money to get married.

-So what do you want to get married for?

-I don't think I'll ever make enough money.

I don't believe I'll ever reach the $10,000 bracket.

Can't make it in that company.

You just can't make it.

It's not even a job.

-Well, what do you call it?

-It's a patsy job.

I mean, they don't want to recognize me, and they got such schmucks in that outfit.

I don't know where the hell they... Nobody believes me around here.

-One lousy little -- but you don't like it?

What do you mean nobody believes you?

I believe you.

Hey, do you want -- I believe you.

-I don't get it.

I don't know what the hell's the matter with this company.

-Gonna try to figure it out?

-What'd they do?

Payoff or they -- scandal, or... -They need you for a certain purpose.

-Yeah, but it's not right.

I mean, the guy that doesn't -- These guys don't show any, and they get promoted.

It must be a payoff.

-What kind of a payoff?

Who they going to pay off?

-Well, there must be something, brown-nosing, or I don't know what the hell it is.

And the funny thing about it is they just took a salesman and put him into management, and he's making less in management now than he was as a salesman.

And he took the job, like a jerk.

Hard-up bastard.

I don't get it.

What the hell am I working for there?

Killing myself.

-Look, I'm killing myself, too, over you.

It's not right.

-What the hell did I do?

-Oh, I try to help you out a little bit.

-Oh, you shouldn't.

-I can take care of you a little bit.

-I take care of myself.

-Yeah.

[ Birds chirping ] [ Airplane flies overhead ] -When you lose someone you love, you start to look for new ways to understand the world.

[ Chain clanking ] Grandma's death makes me believe that some part of the past still exists, and it makes me wonder if time only moves in one direction.

♪♪ -You have a layering in your house that allows you to walk through the different phases that it has been used for.

♪♪ -Well, I think if you had a family that had been living in a house for many years, I think there would be many versions of time for the different inhabitants.

We can imagine a world in which there is no time, only images.

We can imagine a world in which time moves backwards.

We can imagine a world in which times moves in circles and every event is repeated exactly an infinite number of times.

♪♪ I think the physical relativity of time has no bearing on our subjective experience.

-If you were to create a short summary of your life, how would you do it?

-It's been a success.

My life has been a success.

I achieved having a good credit line.

I pay my bills on time.

I have a good reputation.

-I imagine a time that behaves differently, where I can do the impossible, walk from behind the camera and touch her.

-Oh, this is the little thing?

-Yeah.

-That's attached.

You know what?

I'm starting to cough.

-Yeah.

Yeah, I will.

Yeah, I will definitely bring you some water.

-No, don't worry about that.

No.

♪♪ ♪♪ -I want her to be alive.

-I remember that very vividly, very vividly.

I remember it so vividly.

[ Sneezes ] Don't tell me you're recording?

Yes, you are recording.

I don't even sound like that to my own ears.

-That's the way you sound.

-Do I really?

-Do I sound the way I sound on that?

-Yeah, exactly.

So then we don't really hear ourselves properly.

The way when we come over, it's a strange person.

-Yep.

-Oh, my God, what a revelation.

It's exciting.

I wonder if some people are disappointed.

-Yeah, I was when I first heard my voice a long time ago.

-Yeah?

I, uh -- I'm sort of disappointed.

Well, what can you do?

You got to accept yourself.

All right, let me get the salad done so we can eat.

I'll get the chicken out.

It's all I ever talk about is food, food, food because I'm constantly preparing.

Oh, Mavi, Mavi, what's going to be from this family?

-Nothing.

-We'll just go, leave this Earth, not a sign or a mark.

The fighting Ontells.

Eh!

♪♪ ♪♪ [ Wind howling ] -11 months have come and gone.

We prepared for this day, but now that it's here, we just can't sell the house.

I'm not ready.

Not one of us is ready to let go.

♪♪ ♪♪ One year after Grandma's death, I get married in Japan.

♪♪ Our mother semi-retires.

-I don't feel like my age.

-My daughter, Ayumi, is born.

♪♪ Elan gets married.

[ Cheers and applause ] [ Bells ringing ] Our lives are passing, just as Grandma said.

And through it all, we keep the house.

♪♪ 16 years after we started filming Grandma and 6 years after she died, I hear her calling me.

-Remember, remember.

Try to go back.

[ Wind howling ] [ Starlings calling ] ♪♪ ♪♪ -I find myself back in Rome reliving a memory from the past.

I once visited the Casanatense library.

A woman named Isabella showed me beautiful manuscripts in the great hall.

♪♪ While we were talking, the director of the library entered the room and told me a story I've never forgotten.

♪♪ ♪♪ She told me of the most important figure in the library's history -- the great 18th-century librarian Giovanni Battista Audiffredi.

♪♪ Audiffredi was given an enormous task -- to create a catalogue of every book in the library's collection.

♪♪ Audiffredi worked on his catalogue for over 40 years.

He imagined a way to organize information that we use to this day.

♪♪ He spent his entire life pursuing his goal.

But when he died an old man at the age of 84, he had only reached the letter L. This is his final entry.

♪♪ And this is his life's work.

♪♪ We, too, have reached our end.

We have reached our letter L. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Wind howling ] [ Leaves rustling ] ♪♪ -A house is a universe.

It's an entire world.

And it's always amazed me when I go to the sites of houses that I know where the house has been removed.

♪♪ It's always astonishing and appalling and outrageous that the footprint is so small.

♪♪ It's like taking all of the stars in the galaxy and putting them in a thimble, to see all of that life put into a few hundred square feet on the ground.

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Wind howling ] -Wait just a minute.

I don't know what happened with the gefilte fish I put in the... Ma!

Ma!

-Grandma, no one cares about the gefilte fish.

Grandma, Grandma, come on.

-Okay.

-Grandma, I don't care about the gefilte fish.

It's irrelevant.

-The gefilte fish is unnecessary.

Come.

-Come here, Ma.

Sit down here, Ma.

Can we sit down for a second?

Sit down over here, Ma.

-I see.

-Okay.

-Oh, my.

-♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ Happy birthday, dear Grandma ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ -Thank you, thank you.

Ooh.

-Mwah!

Mwah!

-Oh, what a beautiful cake!

It's nuts.

-Now you have to make a wish, Ma.

You made it?

-Yeah.

-Okay.

You can take a little time, though.

-[ Blows ] -Excellent!

-Whoo!

[ All clapping ] ♪♪ -Well, filmmakers.

Scorsese and Scorsese.

[ Laughs ] So, what else?

-I think the last question is, why do you think we're making this film?

-For you to remember me, remember this whole thing, 'cause you love me so much and you want to know how I felt about everything, and you're thanking me, and you're going to go on with your lives, and that's what it is.

Don't feel sad.

Everybody has to die, but I'm not dying so fast.

I'm not checking out of the hotel -- 306 Hollywood Avenue.

What a crazy hotel.

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪