The Great British Baking Show is debuting on PBS.
1. Everyone in it is really, really quite nice.
2. The bakes, by the way, are orgasmic to look at.
You learn that it can be incredibly hard to make such creations, so you don't get this kind of "I should be in the kitchen making this instead of watching TV" feeling.
3. They show drawings of what each contestant is about to bake, and they're orgasmic to look at too.
4. The show is full of sexual innuendo.
Many people just watch for the sexual innuendo.
You start to think that it's done on purpose.
You can't avoid it.
5. Even though everyone is nice, it doesn't mean that both Mary and Paul don't dish out criticism.
6. In fact, their criticisms feel a lot more crushing than other cooking shows, because they feel so personal.
As everyone gets on so well with the judges, giving them a bad bake feels like you're letting them down. There's also something called "The Mary Berry Death Stare," which you get if you do not use your own fondant.
7. Mary has made the same criticism so many times that these two words have become an unintentional catchphrase.
10. The show's highest moment of tension comes when the contestants check that their bake is ready in the oven.
11. The contestants can't open the oven to check on their bake in case it isn't ready, so instead they stare.
This is edge-of-your-seat stuff.
12. There's a contestant called Norman, and oh my god he is absolutely everything you want in life.
The Great British Baking Show starts on PBS on Dec. 28 at 8 p.m. Some PBS stations will show at other times.
Check your local listings for more details.